Voight-Kampff Test

I do a lot of interviews as part of my job. It means coming up with lists of questions I can give to every applicant. Interviewing is a skill that must be learned, and is very detailed and complex if you are to do it right. Perhaps I will post on what makes a good interview another time, however, whenever I am putting together another interview question set, the Voight-Kampff test always comes to mind. I’d love to insert these questions into an interview sometime. I’d be likely to give the job to anyone who realized what they were getting. Consider it the Nerd Bonus.

The Voight-Kampff Test, (spelled Voigt-Kampff in the source material) is a fictional test from Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick and made famous by the film Blade Runner. It features a series of questions designed to evoke an emotional response accompanied by various involuntary physiological responses. These responses (or lack thereof) are measured by the Voight-Kampff machine.

Voigt Kampff machine
The Voigt-Kampff machine is used for the detection of involuntary physiological responses that accompany emotion, such as pupil dilation, changes in the heart rate, and the blush response. The interviewer asks the subject a series of questions, and gauges the physiological response to the questions. Humans have an emotional response to them, causing physiological changes, whereas androids do not. The test, machine and interviewer are used to detect androids posing as humans.

In the film Blade Runner, the questions posed are:

1. It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet. How do you react?
2. You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar. What do you do?
3. You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.
4. You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, Tony, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back, Tony. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
5. Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.

Later in the film, additional questions (actually just statements) are asked (posed):

6. In a magazine you come across a full-page photo of a nude girl.
7. You show the picture to your husband. He likes it and hangs it on the wall. The girl is lying on a bearskin rug.
8. You become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.
9. You’re watching an old movie. It shows a banquet in progress, the guests are enjoying raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog.

In 2003 The Wave Magazine asked candidates in the SF mayoral elections the five Voight-Kampff questions given at the beginning of Blade Runner and reported their responses. One of the candidates, Tom Ammiano, recognised the test as being from Blade Runner by question two. Another candidate, Angela Alioto, became agitated at the line of questioning, complaining “Let me ask you, John, how does this fit in to the bigger picture when you ask me about the dying tortoise and the dead butterflies?”

The interviewer’s reply was straight out of the movie: “They’re just questions, Angela. In answer to your query, they’re written down for me. It’s a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. Shall we continue?”

No word on whether Ms. Alioto was “outed” as an Android.

Here is a clip of the interview I always imagine:

It presumes that machines score rather low on the Turing Test.

Here’s the other Voight-Kampff test from Blade Runner:

Although frankly, if you want to test if someone is human, you could just show them this:

If they don’t cry, retire ‘em.

Skrull Invasion Emergency Procedures

Happy Towel Day everyone. This is the last of my posts on emergency procedures that were conjured up in an attempt to get my co-workers interested in reading the emergency manuals I was creating for them. I hope you enjoy. You can find the others my looking up the “Emergency” category. Thanks to the folks at Topless Robot for recognizing me for my awesome nerdiness. I am both deeply honored and ashamed.

Appendix S: Skrull Invasion:
The Skrulls are a breed of green-skinned humanoids from the Andromeda Galaxy. They are a fierce warrior race who carved for themselves the oldest surviving interstellar empire in the Universe’s history. Skrull science is generally at a higher level than the science of human civilization.
The Skrulls became aware of Earth when they discovered a space warp linking Earth and their “Throneworld”. They have also discovered the Earth possesses an equidistant link to Hala, the homeworld of their long-time enemies the Kree.

Potential Issues:
The Skrulls are a Reptilian-Humanoid race of equal height and weight to an average human, and with a similar basic humanoid shape. They have green reptilian skin, are generally hairless, and have pointed ears and “corrugated” chins.
Of particular note, Skrulls are shape-shifters, able to change their size, shape and colour at will. They therefore are adept at impersonation and camouflage, two of their main invasion modes of operation.

First Signs:
First signs include isolated attacks on oil platforms, power plants, or petty crime committed by persons for whom these actions would be entirely out of character. In addition, the appearance of previously unnoticed office furniture of unknown origin might be cause for alarm. It should be noted that Skrull revert to their natural form upon death, although randomly attacking office furniture is not likely to be an effective response.

Stage 1: Confirmation
Once staff is sufficiently suspicious of a Skrull Invasion, secrecy is of the utmost importance. Staff is advised to trust no one who has not been “confirmed” as human. Use the following tips:

How to Tell if Your Co-Worker is a Skrull
• Do they have an unusual fascination with Portland?
• Do they sometimes sport the appearance and mannerisms of 1930’s gangsters?
• Do they seems unnaturally fearful of Japanese monster movies?
• Do they seem to have lost any of their natural skills, abilities or creativity?

Stage 2: Fight Back
The Skrull do not appear to have any super powers or extra-human abilities. They appear to have average intelligence, speed, dexterity, and strength. In fact, they appear to be reasonably vulnerable to deceit. One might also appeal to vanity or greed to gain an advantage. While the average Skrull will fearlessly and loyally execute any duties, he will also try to find ways to better his own position. A Skrull will betray another Skrull if it is to his own advantage.

A Warning on Fighting Skrulls
Skrulls are able to use their shapeshifting abilities to form weapons with parts of their bodies. For instance, they can shape their arms into blades or clubs. This ability makes them dangerous hand-to-hand combatants.
As a reminder, despite their seemingly advanced technology, the Skrulls are not familiar with human customs or culture (particularly pop culture). One might reasonably decide to use subterfuge to convince a Skrull of the need to change into a form that is reasonably contained or controlled, say a Cow or a Conservative Talk Show Host.

“They have the ability to be anything they can think of, but they do not have the imagination to do anything other than copy the things around them.”

Further reading
Skrull History
Skrull Invasion Hypothesis
Skrull Weaknesses 
Skrull Lack of Imagination 

The Tao of Management: Verse VIII

The point of this series “The Tao of Management” is to try and apply the teachings of Lao Tzu to modern business. It seems counter-intuitive in some cases to “abide” in a business world often known for “striving” in competition.  I’m doing this series as much for myself as for anyone who might read this, because I am attracted to many aspects of Taoism and find it hard in some cases to apply it to my business life.  Examining the writings one at a time and trying to restate them in my own words helps me find ways to apply the Tao to work.  Perhaps you will find it so as well.  In any case, feel free to comment, my opinion is no more worthy than any other.

Verse VIII
THE highest form of goodness is like water.
Water knows how to benefit all things without striving with them.
It stays in places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it comes near the Tao.

In choosing your dwelling, know how to keep to the ground.
In cultivating your mind, know how to dive in the hidden deeps.
In dealing with others, know how to be gentle and kind.
In speaking, know how to keep your words.
In governing, know how to maintain order.
In transacting business, know how to be efficient.
In making a move, know how to choose the right moment.

If you do not strive with others,
You will be free from blame.

My Version

Water benefits all it touches, does your business,
Or are you better defined by who and how you fight?

A well made house doesn’t fight its surroundings,
A sound mind doesn’t fight with itself,
Being gentle and kind and minding your tongue
Will gain more friends than enemies both inside and out.
Keeping a calm and orderly business
Allows you to act efficiently and with timeliness and care

Competition is a distraction from your true business,
Which is to bring benefit to others.

Well, it’s rare to have an overt comment about business in the Tao Te Ching, so I was pretty happy to find this one. Even better to have one that specifically tells you what to do: be efficient. But how to achieve that efficiency? I suggest in reading this verse that acting in a thoughtful, kind and calm manner, with the goal of orderliness and benefit to others is the best way to go. I’ve worked for companies that were obsessed with competition, and I feel that it distracted them from their true calling.

Just do your thing. Do it better than before. Help people out along the way. That’s the way to gain in business, and in life.

I’m Sorry…if we didn’t take you serious…

Sorry, just haven’t posted much lately. Here’s a video I like about a guy who wins over one of the deadliest groups known: hipster punks.

If I had a theme song, I’d want Franz Nicolay to write it.

Jookin With Yo Yo Ma

From Schema Magazine:

High-brow performance met street culture as world-renowned cellist Yo-Yo Ma collaborated with Los Angeles-based dancer Charles Riley a.k.a. Lil’ Buckfor a presentation of “The Dying Swan.” The performance pairs Ma’s expressive, emotionally-wrenching bow strokes with Riley’s fluid, surreal body movements.

The way in which Riley, a twenty-two year old dancer who is the 2011 Vail International Dance Festival’s Artist-in-Residence, contorts his body to Ma’s melancholy melody is something I have never seen before. Apparently Riley’s contorted body movements are known as “jookin’”, a dance style that sprang from his hometown of Memphis, Tennessee.

This – this is why the arts are important