Zombie Apocalypse Workplace Emergency Procedures

Zombie Apocalypse Workplace Emergency Procedures were recently added to our office manual:

Zombie Apocalypse (Event Z)
In case of Event Z there is likely to be a high degree of confusion and uncertainty due to uniqueness of the event. However, given recent events and the company’s location in an urban area, staff and insurance rules demand additional and modified procedures be provided as guidelines. To a great extent the procedures to follow are modifications of hostile intruder procedures and pandemic procedures noted elsewhere in this document.

Potential Issues:
Given the company’s location in the downtown core, the office building is likely to be within the immediate Event Z zone of activity. Precautions have already been taken: windows in outer offices have been sealed, and in offices on the north side of the building, windows have been removed entirely. Additional building structures have been erected against these formerly weaker points, but ground level access points are many (6) necessitating a retreat to higher and more secure ground on the third floor.

Reports vary, but it is estimated that initial panic will clog most exits out of the downtown, making evacuation inadvisable. These clogged exit ways, rather than being avenues of escape, are likely to be concentrated areas of “casualties” during Event Z.

This Appendix assumes a minimum of 72 hours isolation w/o outside support or direction by authorities, but does assume working utilities during that period. Procedures beyond 72 hours must be determined by CEO or senior staff based situational analysis and best practices.*

First Signs:
Notification of Event Z will most likely come first via informal sources. Following recent incidents, the Communications Manager has been tasked with monitoring potential threats as a normal part of the company’s Risk Management policies. First signs of Event Z will likely include rumour, confused and contradictory news reports, followed by sirens and, of course, panic.

Even with diligent monitoring, it is likely that little warning will be available, and it is with a warning window of less than 10 minutes that this Appendix is written.

Two-Stage Approach:
Assumes Event Z risk is not present in building and time allows for securing of building in ten (10) minutes or less without undue risk to staff.

Stage One: Stockade
“Stockade” procedures are as follows:
• Receptionist announces nature of threat and “Stockade” via phones
• Marketing Team uses emergency locks on stairwell fire doors, retreats to 3rd floor via Call Center, securing steel Call Center door.
• R&D Team retrieves “Z kit” from 3rd floor storage room
• Call Center Team locks library door and pull alarm marked SOLAR panels, closes barricade on 1st-2nd floor landing, posts guard
• Customer Services Team uses emergency locks on front doors, retreats to 3rd floor via front stairwell.
• Third floor Production Team retrieves cargo nets for skylights, using pre-installed hooks in ceiling.
• Third floor Engineering Team uses emergency locks on stairwell fire doors, closes barricade on 1st-2nd floor landing, post guard.

Once third floor stockade is secure:
• CDO takes roll call, assess resources.
• Dir. of IT confirm deployment of SOLAR panels, path of retreat
• Marketing Team monitor internet traffic, access security cameras.**
• Customer Services Team set up kitchen, draw water reserves.
• Finance Team to set up infirmary in Finance office
• Engineering Team to rotate front stairwell guard
• Call Center Team to rotate rear stairwell guard
• Production Team reinforce as possible for three ring defence:
• R&D Team distribute contents of “Z kit”

Once stockade secured and reinforced:
• Stay put, stay safe, stay alert
• Do not draw attention to yourself
• Conserve food, fuel, water
• Sleep in shifts behind locked, windowless office doors.

Stage Two: Retreat to Stockade of Last Absolute Resort (SOLAR)
The music library (an entirely interior room with reinforced walls) on the second floor will act as “stockade of last absolute resort” (SOLAR).

• Access is via floor panel hidden in the SW corner of the IT office.
o Peel back carpeting to find removable hatch, roll steel SOLAR panel out of way per directions printed on panel face. Read carefully as panel is sharp and spring-loaded.
• Use the large bookshelf directly below as a staircase. Avoid jumping.
• Once inside, pull orange release handle to close SOLAR panels. USE EXTREME CAUTION ; panel edge is sharpened and spring-loaded to sever any obstruction.
• Sliding reinforced steel door panel is similarly in place, blocking the normal entrance. If not, pull the SOLAR panel door release beside the door. Again, USE EXTREME CAUTION; door panel edge is sharpened and spring-loaded to sever any obstruction.
• In the center of the library floor, you will find a hatch that opens to the ground floor men’s room, a potential source of water, refuge, or escape assuming the (normally locked) ground floor men’s room door has not been breached.
• In the locked lateral filing cabinet marked “Bach Operas” you will find the “SOLAR Kit”. There are no keys to this lock, but a hatchet, pry bar or other means should quickly breach that. The cabinet is alarmed to our central alarm system in case of normal, unauthorized breach, but is of no consequence in this scenario.
• The “SOLAR Kit” should provide for a robust defence capability not found in the “Z Kit”. Together, these kits may provide adequate protection for a small determined group to either extend their siege or attempt an escape.

Abandonment, Escape, Retreat
Like the “Z Kit” the “SOLAR KIT” contains, in addition to weapons, contents to create a number of “go bags” which may be helpful if escape is required.

Do not leave the premises unless forced to, or unless superior safety is offered by a known, verified, secure location.

A likely first location of refuge is the nearby Canadian Forces Armoury, located four blocks from the offices. The situation may dictate otherwise, but as a general rule, such a fortified location with trained personnel may be a wise first stop in case of forced abandonment, escape or retreat.

See Also: Alien Invasion Procedures

Further Reading:





*Best Practices: “The Zombie Survival Guide” by Max Brooks, Three Rivers Press, 2003. A first edition copy is included in the “Z kit” for your reference.

**Communications Manager has access to a number of public security cameras throughout the city which are noted on her workstation.

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