The Queen Bees

Emilie Autumn, Jennifer Batten, Tina Guo, Meytal Cohen, Tal Wilkenfeld

Some guys play fantasy football. I play fantasy rock band.

Here’s my All-Girl Shredder Orchestra, The Queen Bees:

On Violin: Emilie Autumn
from live show Nov 3, 208 at the Matrix in Prague

Leader of the Queen Bees is Emilie Autumn. Her early work is amazing. She’s already done her own classic compositions as well as playing some hard core baroque classics. The only one of these women I have seen live, Emilie impressed me both with her musicianship and her raw honesty.

I find it really hard to find good quality footage of Emilie playing live, so you’ll have to live with this. Oh, and that wailing top line? That’s a violin, people, not, um, Jeff Beck.

On Guitar: Jennifer Batten
This is from a July 26, 2006 posting.

I found Jennifer Batten on a list of “Top 10 Guitarists You Don’t Know” on Listverse (see the sidebar). Jennifer was an instructor at Guitar Institute of Technology on L.A., then went on to play in Michael Jackson’s and Jeff Beck’s touring bands. She is one of the best-ever exponents of the 2-hand tapping style of guitar playing. Here’s her impossible-sounding “Fight Of The Bumblebee”.

Oh, and here’s a live sample with a guy you might recognize and who keeps popping up in this post:

On Cello: Tina Guo
From a May 2009 posting on YouTube

Tina Guo I found through girllightning. Tina heads up her own band as well as being a classically trained cellist equally at home with Elgar as well as Foo Fighters. You can check out her even more hard core and sexy version of “Queen Bee” here, now knowing that it is not an edited trick. She shreds.

Drummer: Meytal Cohen
From a Nov 3, 2007 performance in Australia with the band Metaphor

Meytal Cohen is a hard-hitting versatile Drummer born and raised in Ramat Gan, Israel. Her latest performances include the United States, Puerto Rico, Mexico, and a live performance on the “Jimmy Kimmel Live Show” with the band “Chromeo”. Meytal also performed 21-city tour of Australia with the former rock/ metal/classical fusion band “Metaphor.” Meytal was classically trained in drums and percussion.

And here’s another sample for you, this time with some pals of hers who need a frickin’ name for their band.

Bass: Tal Wilkenfeld
More of a jazz player, but seriously, anybody who Jeff Beck thinks is awesome is good enough for me. Gotta love her story. Tal Wilkenfeld is a 23 year old prodigy from Oz who’s played with all of the greats full bio here.

And if that doesn’t convince you she can play anything, here she is with Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page at Beck’s 2009 induction into the Rock and Roll Goddamned Hall of Fame.

I don’t think you can rock harder than that.

So go hunt them down, visit their websites, which I’ve linked here, and buy their music. For now, we’ll just have to imagine what they all might sound like as the Queen Bees.

Wilderness

Watashi to Tokyo had this posted on her site. It’s a great little animation project. Just terrific.

Zombie Bite Calculator

If you’ve followed this blog and read the suggested materials, you’ll have planned in advance for the coming zombie apocalypse.

But good things happen to good people…so…..

So if you do get bitten, you’re going to want to know this…how long have I got?

CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT

(thanks to girllightning and theoatmeal.com)

Cellist of Sarajevo

I always loved this guy. I remember when I heard about him on the news at the time. I’ve never ceased being impressed and find it inspirational. Always.

From Listverse:
Vedran Smailovic

In the midst of the siege on his beloved Sarajevo, Vedran Smailovic played his cello for 22 days-one day for each person killed when they waited for bread. The picture of this 36 year old cellist- dressed in garb suitable for a night out at the theatre in the midst of rubble is as poignant as they come. No, it didn’t change the outcome of the war- Serb snipers ravaged Sarajevo incessantly for days before a ceasefire was established-but his emotional defiance was a tribute to all those nameless souls who suffer endlessly but always with dignity. Here’s the piece he played:

UPDATE:
Hold on a second. This guy played the cello for 22 days in plain view of snipers (and everybody else in town) in the city of Sarajevo in 1992.

AND NOBODY TOOK A PICTURE?

Seriously? Nobody? I cannot find a single picture of him playing the cello in the street taken while he was doing this. Every photo I find online is staged. This seems very strange to me. We know what day it (the shelling that killed 22 people ) happened (May 27, 1992). We know what he played (Albinoni’s Adagio in G minor). So where’s the pictures? There’s no shortage of photos of the siege of Sarajevo, some taken in situations of peril. So where’s the proof this guy did what he says he did?

Guess I need to read the book. This really bugs me.

PS: There’s no video either, that I can find. But there’s no video of Yo Yo Ma’s performance of a piece called “Cellist of Sarajevo” either, and I’m not suggesting that either of these things didn’t happne or exist.

Just that it bothers me that there’s no visual evidence for me.

And Now A Word From Leviticus…

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger has said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. Clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Remembering Neda

So Twitter got hacked last night by a group protesting Twitter’s interference in Iran’s internal affairs.

So a bunch of people couldn’t tweet various inanities for a few hours. Kind of sucked.

But let’s remember, this group is protesting the efforts of a vast number of private citizens who protested the Iranian governments apparent fraud in recent presidential elections, and their violent put down of the Iranian citizens’ protests against that fraud.

Just be clear on who we’re dealing with here. They shot and killed innocent civilians. Your sons and daughters, your friends and relatives, your sisters and brothers.

It was the death of Neda which brought it all home for me. I realized at that moment of watching her graphic death that it could have easily have been my daughter, my wife, or my friend who was killed.

I show it here so we will not forget:

CLICK HERE NOW

Black Tie, Black Heart

They say you only get one shot….

Another genius accessory from Sruli Recht is “The Damned”, a bullet proof pocket square.

The Damned is a Bullet-Proof* Gentlemen’s Pocket Square measuring 270 mm x 270, made from lemon Military Grade Ballistic Strength Aramid Fibre – to protect the hearts of men. This ‘pocket-protector’ of the Modern Ages is bound in Citric French Cotton and in light of its chamfered corners we developed a Unique and New Fold to the Gentlemen’s Square.

For the gentlemen with “known associates”.

Rainy Nights, Bad Neighborhood

I give you the Umbuster, for your next walk from the bus stop in front of the porn shop to your worn-out studio apartment on the downtown east side.

This take-no-prisoners umbrella/knuckle duster will also keep the pervs off you on the loser cruiser, but might attract unwanted attention from the soldier of fortune types.

The perfect accessory for the girl on the go, it runs about $300 and features a heavy metal CNC die-cut machined grip perfect for making a good “first impression.”

Buy It Here from Sruli Recht in Reykjavik.

Six Kids, One Jeep

Two weeks of prep, seven hours of takes, one marvelous video.

Music is everywhere.

found this on gawker

Angel

….by Massive Attack

Watch here